Openness to Feedback: Making Sure "The Juice is Worth the Squeeze"

Imagine for a moment you are going to cross a tightrope suspended across the Grand Canyon.  (Maybe like this guy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbwmfEXu75s)  Now imagine, you have been given a time constraint, you must complete the feat in the next 15 days.

You could start a physical regimen to improve balance and strength, or spend time dedicated to your mindset and the belief that you can accomplish it, but as far as bang for buck, to ensure you are improving like your life depended on it, your focus should be on your openness to feedback. 

While all three approaches would certainly help, time and time again, I have seen individuals hit a ceiling because they have shut themselves off to feedback.

Consistently looking to improve the quantity and quality of feedback you are getting is the difference between stalled and exponential growth.  Even better, it is something within our control. 

Open New Channels

Feedback is all around us. Whether we are aware of them or not, we are surrounded by barriers to receiving feedback.  We could be more open to feedback, but these barriers are an impediment to receiving honest and frank feedback from those around us.  If we take a moment to empathize with the reasons that people might be holding back, we can take steps to address these, situation by situation.

“It’s not my place.”

Whether it be a family relationship like a younger sibling, or a mother-daughter relationship, a culturally ingrained pecking order, or a formalized hierarchy at our place of business, we are surrounded by unwritten rules on how and if we should share information with those around us. Identifying these is a critical first step to building awareness around how you can tailor your behavior in these situations and recognize why you might not be getting feedback in the first place.

 “It’s not worth it.”

In some instances, to a person who could potentially share life-changing feedback, the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze. In other words, the possibility of negative outcomes, an awkward interaction, a volatile reaction, a souring in the relationship, or even retribution, far outweighs anything positive that could come from sharing their feedback.  They could be basing this on past instances they have observed, or their belief that you might not be able to change, and therefore it is pointless to share ideas for improvement with you.  Whatever the reason, it’s important to investigate the underlying motivations so you can take steps to remedy and reconstruct these channels.

Maintain Existing Channels

Feedback is always difficult to receive.  Feedback (speaking solely of feedback of a negative nature) suggests that the way we are doing things has failed to meet expectations or, our actions have been misinterpreted.  We are social beings who want to connect, and being misunderstood prevents us from connecting, making it natural for us to want to rectify the situation as quickly as possible.  Often though, our eagerness to respond to the feedback we are receiving is counterproductive.

As we receive feedback, deep within our beings, an urge is swelling.  

The urge to…

·         defend our actions.

·         explain our actions.

·         justify our actions.

·         contextualize our actions

·         compare your actions to others

This urge becomes so great, that it distracts us from listening.  Even worse, when we feed one of these urges by offering a counter to the feedback we are receiving, we are potentially damaging the relationship.  In our minds we might be defending, explaining, justifying, contextualizing, or comparing, however, the person providing feedback will interpret whatever you are saying as, “I hear you, but…”

Do this enough times and you’ll quickly turn someone open to giving you feedback into someone who believes the juice just ain’t worth the squeeze.

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Seeking to constantly conserve the feedback channels you have, while working to generate new channels will do more than just demonstrate an openness to feedback.  Taking these actions will demonstrate a sincerity to growth, and in the process, create allies who are invested in your success.